this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
