god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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