what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
