Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
