Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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