My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
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