Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
