She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
