on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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