this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
