Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
