okay pat passed out under dana's car
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
