It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I think I just sharted jello shots
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