seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
