I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
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