The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
