quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
