I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize