we're making bets on your personal life
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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