Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My butt remains clenched, sir.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
