I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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