i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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