we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
