I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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