The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize