Me too!
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
pray to the hookup gods
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
