In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
