frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
