he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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