Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize