You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize