i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
