omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Sorry my hands just texted you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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