Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize