So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
