do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
