So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
