My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
