Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
