Porn is love you can see.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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