i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
