So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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