So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
