I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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