I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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