Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
