my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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