Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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