Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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