Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
