living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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