Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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