She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
