just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
