Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
