The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
