I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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