White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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