She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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