kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize