My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
