I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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