Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
