why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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