either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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