Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
