Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
