So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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