you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
